Reminds me of a blind man standing at a cross walk & he says ma'am, can I smell your vagina?
She blasts out NO you cannot smell my vagina!!!

I apologize, it must be your feet.

A blonde is driving down the highway & a female blonde cop pulls her over & asks for her drivers licence. The blonde driver fumbles around in her purse looking for it & gets frustrated. She asks the blonde cop what it looks like. Blonde cop replies "it's square & has your picture on it".
She fumbles around for another moment & finds a square mirror, looks at it & hands it to the blonde cop. She takes it, looks at it & hands it back to her "sorry you can go, I didn't know you were a cop".

A med student graduated and was about to begin his internship. But before that he planned to take a trek through the African wilderness. First day out nothing unusual occurred. The second day out he came to a clearing in the bush where he observed a young bull elephant with a painful foot. The elephant continually lifted his right front foot and would slam it to the ground. The new doctor to be approached and noticed a large sliver of wood lodged in the elephant's foot. He took out his knife and carefully removed the piece of wood. The elephant put his foot down a couple of times, raised his trunk and let out a bellowing roar. After it gently caressed the benefactors arm and hand with his trunk he glided off into the surrounding bush.

Years went by and the doctor decided to take a day off from his thriving practice and visit the zoo with his young son. They strolled and came to the elephant exhibit. Nearing a cage an older bull elephant came to the bars and stared at the doctor. As he stared he continually raised and lowered his right leg as if he were trying to convey a message. The doctor wondered if this could be the same elephant. He cautiously squeezed through the bars and approached the elephant. After a couple of seconds the elephant wrapped his trunk around the doctor, picked him up and flung him against the wall killing him instantly. Probably not the same elephant.

Once a month only get dressed in miss matched under ware, miss matched socks, miss matched shoes and have them on the wrong feet and for sh**s and giggles have a ball cap either side ways or backwards on your head. Then with everybody home wander around the house all day singing home sweet home and every now and again mumble where am I or who am I - that way when you get old and do all this for real they will be used to it and not put you in a nursing home

hahaha.. these are hilarious.. Just a couple of days ago I read this

A Texan was describing how big his ranch is to a northerner. "I start my truck at sunrise, drive all day, and at sunset I'm still on my ranch. Northerner said, "Yeah, I used to have a truck that ran like that."

thepenisinmymouth




Did you read it as: "The pen is in my mouth"?

Yeah right, I call BS!