First off, YES, This is a RANT.

Second off, Thanks to everyone on this forum for informative articles and discussions and what not.

Third off, FU Oct. 27th, 2009.

This morning I woke up feeling great. I was ready to have a great day at work, put on a fresh pressed shirt, filled my coffee cup, and out the door I went.
"Good Morning Blazer" I said, as I power walked across the street to her.

Quick info - This blazer LOVES to start and run. LOVES IT!

This morning, all that could be heard on my street was "crank crank crank crank crank..........crank......BAH!"

So I called work and said I'd be a bit late, so I'd have to try and resolve this issue quickly. Maybe I can still make it in for a half day of work? First step - Go back inside, pour a cup of coffee and make a pancake, put on CNBC.
With breakfast behind me, time to start work. I go to the blazer, turn the ingnition to the on/acc position. Nothing - No noise - No "whirring" as the little A/C Delco pump primes. At this point, the following thoughts go thru my head:

1) Damn - It's just a stupid relay, I'll be to work in no time.
2) I could go for another pancake.

2 pancakes later, I pull my roommates bike out of the garage to ride to the parts store. 2 flat tires...FU roommate. I throw cat **** in his bed, then walk his bike to the gas station to fill the tires. Now I'm rolling. "Ridin dirty" if you will. On a Schwinn. They hatin. So I get a new relay b/c the store won't test the old one. They don't have the "technology". The proper "technology" is an ohmmeter. FU Carquest. I arrive home and install the new relay, and turn the key. Silence. BAH. NEW SET OF PROBLEMS ARISE.
It's likely the fuel pump. The blazer is in front of the house, the garage is in back. "Hello, Geico Roadside Assistance, How may I help you?"
"Yea, I need my truck moved 50 feet from the road to the driveway, please send a tow truck". God Bless Geico. Geico subcontractor towtruck shows up 1.5 hours later. Score 1 for the tow truck driver. Driver forgets to have me sign invoice of service. Score 1 for me. Now where is that Haynes Repair Manual?
Step 1: Disconnect Negative battery terminal. - Solid logic. OK
Step 2: Relieve fuel system pressure.-Not necessary - Dead Pump. Next.
Step 3: Disconnect fuel filler hose and vapor return hose from tank. NEGATIVE GHOSTRIDER, THE PATTERN IS FULL. Maybe on a freshly assembled and still lubricated blazer, this is possible. In 2009, this is highly unlikely
Step 4: Disconnect fuel lines and connectors from pump assembly on top of tank. AGAIN, NEGATIVE. Unless you hands look like freakishly long and slender pancake flippers with opposable thumbs and 5 independent joints, you are SOL.
Step 5: Remove straps and lower tank to the ground with a jack. You win this one Haynes.
Step 6: Using a punch, turn pump assembly within the tank, and remove. BAH - Incorrect!

Here's how the manual should have been written (for those wanting to criticize, please see the title "'01 Blazer ZR2 repairs", then criticize freely).

Step 1: Do not fill your tank on Oct. 26th, 2009 @ 7pm.
Step 2: If you did, facepalm immediately.
Step 3: (probably the most important) Spend the $20 to buy an extra gas can to hold all of your fuel. Don't be a hick and dump it on the ground - You'll just end up spending $20 on dumped fuel anyways.
Step 3: Remove tank protector shroud.
Step 3: Place jack with a 12" X 16" board on the top of the jack under the tank, and raise to the level of the tank, then 1 more crank.
Step 4: Remove the four bolts holding tank straps to chassis
Step 5: Go in thru the driver side wheel well access shroud, and CUT the fuel filler hose and vapor return line in HALF. (or your favorite fraction that will result in the filler neck being separate from the tank) DIRECT HAYNES CONFLICT
Step 6: Freak out and realize that you haven't disconnected the battery, then disconnect the battery.
Step 7: Super freak out when you realize you didn't unlock the Delco Theftlock on the stereo.
Step 8: Realize that you did unlock it yesterday b/c you're going to get a remote starter installed on Friday. BONUS. You are a thinker!
Step 9: Lower the tank approx. 4-6 inches in order to remove the power and sending unit connection and fuel lines from the pump assembly. DIRECT HAYNES CONFLICT
Step 10: Pry up lock-ring tabs with a screwdriver (or a brass chisel if you're a little girl)
Step 11: Remove pump.
Step 12: Drop 3 pounds of rust from top of tank into tank.
Step 13: Call Jesus, Buddah, Yaweh, or whoever you get your strength from, and install the new pump into the tank.
Step 14: Realize that Pep Boys and Advance Auto DON'T carry fuel-grade tubing that was cut in step 5. Repeat Step 2.
Step 15: Call it quits for the night, order tubing tomorow, re-assemble the blazer, and pray to god the pump was the problem in the first place.


Ugh, I'm out of energy. Now I have to go into work early tomorrow, so I can leave early and finish this stupid pump.

Speaking of pump. I am pumped that this job is almost done for $400, when the shop would have charged over 1k. FU repair shops.

Some day when I get the energy, I'll write a quick rant comparing the way Haynes wants an 01 ZR2 blazer owner to change upper and lower balljoints, versus the easy way.

Adios.

 

ROFL that was the funniest way of describing what happened, unlucky day!!!

 

LMFAO That was a good one!! Atleast it's not the dead of winter and trying to do it in the driveway!

 

ha that was funny as hell.
Could you tell me the easy way to change lowers versus my haynes way?

 

First off, the blazer is back in working order. The pump was shot.

Second. ABSOLUTE FU PEP BOYS.

That is where I bought the pump, and that is where I will never buy anything again. As I raised the tank into the blazer, the "force" placed on the fuel nipple by the flexible fuel lines caused the nipple to snap. I return to pep boys, and they say "Nope, this was broken due to improper installation". Out $300. I go to Advance and they say "ya, this happens a lot, the necks are kinda weak, if it breaks, we'll return it". Hi five Advance Auto, Thumbs Down Pep Boys. I bought a pump from Advance and am writing Pep Boys an e-mail b/c their "customer service" ppl @ the store on Elmwood Ave in Buffalo have a terrible definition of "customer service". Too bad, Pep Boys. Next time I need $300 worth of shocks, regular maintenance fluids and belts, detailing products, or even a bottle of water when I'm dying of thirst, I'll be going to Advance instead.

So now I'm down $600, but the install finished nicely. The blazer roared back to life, and I am pleased. For all those looking for a breakdown, here it is:

2 fuel pumps @ $309.99 each (FU Pep Boys) - 619.98
2 fuel tank @ $12.99 each
1 Fuel Pump relay - $16.99
Filler and vapor return tubing - $27.00
Full tank of gas and handle of Capt. Morgans for my roommate who let me borrow his M5 for two days (F-ing fast car, BTW) - $90
Six pack for myself to forget how pissed I was - $8.99 (souther tier brewing company...excellent)
Missed day of work - $0 - Holla for salary!
Grand total = $788.94

Estimate for shop repair - I dunno, but I'd bet it would be north of 1k. Any body have a better idea of estimate?

My time to vent is over....I have a nasty e-mail to write to a certain Auto Parts Retailer.

 

To Brian:
To change the lowers, first start by lighting your haynes manual on fire.
Second, and I'm not even joking about this, get a torch or air chisel.
I spent an hour putting my full body weight on the stupid rivets with a drill. Then my dad came out, fired up the torch, and had the rivets burnt out within 5 minutes on both sides, upper and lower. My dad can beat up your dad. Seriously.

Anyways, back to the process - I did these almost a year ago, so my memory may be a little faded.
1) Take tension off the suspension by turning the adjusting bolts on the torsion bars. Write down how many cranks you used to turn them down, b/c you will forget - I guarantee it.
1) Remove wheel and tire.
2) Disconnect tie rod.
3) Remove caliper and hang out of the way using shop wire.
4) Remove brake disc. (if you have ABS, remove sensor from dust cover.)
5) Remove hub/bearing assembly.
6) Do not disconnect driveaxle as Haynes states. They are dumb.
7) Use torch or air chisel and BURN THE DAMN RIVETS OUT OF THE CONTROL ARMS.
8) Beat the living hell out of the joint between the ball joint and the steering knuckle with a picklefork.
9) Put in a step between step 6 and 7 - In this step, remove cotter pin and take castle nut off of ball joint stud (attaches steering knuckle to ball joint)
10)Remove ball joint
11) Install new ball joint.
12) Torque castle nut to spec.
13) Put things back together - Do not forget to tighten the torsion bars.
12) Be thankful you didn't need to replace the lowers as well.


Now, mind you, its been a while since I did this, so if anyone can add info to this, by all means, please do.

If you're only changing the uppers, you might not need to undo the tie rod.
BUT, if you're doing that uppers, and the lowers are >50k old, I'd recommend just doing them all at once.

Pay for the Moogs. Never go cheap when it comes to a 100k mile wear part, or you'll be SUPER pissed after 25k.

Go get an alignment, and be super pumped that you did the job that a shop would charge $600 for, for less than $200.

You may notice that I have 2 "Step 1"s. If you have a problem with that, kindly go take a hike. I am too lazy to fix my numbering. But now that I think about it, in the effort it took to write this disclaimer, I could have simply just re-numbered. Oh well.

Before you do the job, watch an online video on changing ball joints. There are some good ones out there.

Thanks all I can remember. Best of luck!

 

I'm gonna argue with you over the moog parts, they used to be good until the sourced out to china. Now they are the same as any other cheap china made part except they aint cheap.

Power performance all the way.

 

Ya, I have no idea bout the outsourcing, Neo. But gotta rep the Moog parts, b/c they have a big plant in my neighborhood, and I know a few ppl that work there. I've never used Power Performance, but I'll take a look at them in the future, thanks!

 

at least it wasn't like my other 'Burb, the pump went on the way home from the gas station-150L (40 gals.) weigh a ton! oh wait, it turned out not to be the pump, but a f**kin' blown fuse due to a short!

1. i have no idea why anyone would spend the time with the drill & chisel. even if you don't have a torch handy, just use a grinder, it's almost as fast.
2.why would you back off the t-bars? just crack the BJ's free.
3. absolutely. plus, they have life time warrenty on them.
4. nice.

since when are Moog Suspension components made in China? the boxes still say "Made in USA" on the ones i'm getting. besides, they have a lifetime warrenty. so if they do fail, you'll only be out on your personaly labour "cost".

 

I hope you stay around here cause your freakin funny lol