So I have another son who is 20mo old now. His mom avoided me since his birth when I had a judge order a DNA test. She avoided all apointments to submit the DNA since Dec 2011. She has been on and off welfare and declared to welfare that I was the father. Last time she applied for welfare they told her that she would not get any money until she did the DNA test. It was done, and in March 2013 I finally found out he is my son. I used those test results to get court ordered visitation starting in April 2013 when she showed up with her high priced lawyer who bullied me into agreeing to things I didnt want to agree to (never been in court before, didnt know how to handle a lawyer). The order that wsa handed down at that time gave me mom-supervised visits, and gave her the right to refuse overnight visits for no reason at all, and also the right to bring her aunty to my house to judge my home (which has 6 kids living safe in it right now). She was a no show for the first 3 visits, and the cops had to make her let me take him on the last 2 visits. I took her back to court this morning, and she showed up with her high priced lawyer again. The whole visitation order was changed, I caught her lying in her affadavits and to the judge, and her and the lawyer looked like fools and got in trouble from the judge. I was awarded exactly what I asked for all along... I WON! She spent thousands of dollars on this lawyer (over 9000 according to her) and I have spent nothing but a few days off work and many hours on google... And I frigging won!!!

So now I have 7 children. I have a hers-mine-ours household. I am such a happy guy right now.

 

Congrats man!!! I have a crazy baby mama as well but she's happy to take my money she just doesn't want me to see him. My day in court is coming in due time that's for sure.

 

unfortunately you were still paying for her lawyer if she is on welfare

To many times in these situations the father are busy working and trying to be a provider to be pissing around in court
Some of these woman its a way of life playing the system
Fortunately the Judges are getting tired of the B.S.

Good for you following up and taking the initiative to follow threw

Word of wisdom , log all incedents ,dates etc etc EVERYTHING
You are not done with her B.S but the more proof you have when you go back to court the better off you will be

 

That's solid advice I don't talk to mine unless its through text so thy way I have digital proof of the crap she threatens me with all the time. I'm slowly building my case against her and she will sink when it comes before the judge.

 

Congrats...I dont have kids of my own but if I did I know I would fight tooth and nail to be able to see them.

 

Funny thing, Im not paying for her lawyer since shes on welfare. People on welfare get "legal aid", this was no legal aid lawyer. She paid for her a $5000 retainer, plus god knows how many hours. She managed to get backpay out of EI while on welfare and used that money to hire a lawyer. Ive turned her into EI and welfare for the fraud, its being investigated.

I record everything on my GoPro in my pocket, and we always take lots of photos while we are out doing stuff. Email is how the lawyer talks to me, and I have an auto-call-recorder on my cell phone. Nothing happens without it being recorded.

Saad thing is that the judge does not want to see the evidence. The judge sees liars everyday. When the mom is making ridiculous allegations, the judge knows... Just stand your ground, stay calm, dont sling dirt, and be the bigger man and you will come out on top.

 

Make sure you keep receipts on EVERYTHING you spend on the child. My nephew didn't and had to pay child support twice a couple of times. If you buy the child a sweat shirt, keep the receipt. Never, ever give cash money. If you pay for a doctors visit, write a check. Keep a copy of your canceled checks.

Lastly, remember, no matter how pissy mom is, the childs welfare comes first. Make certain you never deprive the child of neccessities. Down the road, the child will be happier and if you end up back in court, you may have sole custody. Just remember the child is a person, not a toy to fight over.

 

My big payback came thirty years later. My son now 35 pulled me aside at a family picnic and told me what he really thought about mom. I hadto apologise for giving him THAT mom. Now I can die happy because he's doing well. Moral; dont bad mouth mom, the kid will know how vindictave she is.

 

I'm more worried about her bad mouthing me to our daughter. Even though she will flat out tell you I treated her right, loved her, wasn't my fault she left, etc...The guy she's with now is mentally, emotionally, and physically abusive and she's a completely different person with him. It's like she's just a shell of her former self. She's not hppy and joyful and outgoing and all of those things anymore. She keeps her mouth shut, doesn't question him, and follows his orders. They don't go out. She has no friends. He even keeps her away from her family. She can barely leave the house. I still love her so it really hurts to see her this way. We still talk almost every day and have a very good relationship as of now.