.....wouldn't that supercharger kit just make a reeeeaaaally high pitch wine?

 

awsome!

 

Construction worker on the 5th floor of a building needed a handsaw. So he spots another worker on the ground floor and yells down to him, but he can't hear him. So the worker on the 5th floor tries sign language.

He pointed to his eye meaning "I", pointed to his knee meaning "need", then moved his hand back and forth in a hand saw motion. The man on the ground floor nods his head, pulls down his pants, whips out his **** and starts jacking off.

The worker on 5th floor gets so pissed off he runs down to the ground floor and says, "What the **** is your problem!!! I said I needed a hand saw!".

The other guy says, "I knew that! I was just trying to tell you - I'm coming!"

 

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?






Beer nuts are $2.89, and deer nuts are under a buck!

 

want a good construction joke?
.....im working on it!

 

A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.

"Listen," says the Doctor, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks."

Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"

"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."

"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "you have a REALLY nice house."

 

A married couple is in bed sleeping one night.

All the sudden the woman jumps out of bed and says "Quick hide my husband home."

The man gets up and grabs his clothes and hides in the closet.

 

lols.. this make me go like

 

A fellow got off work early on Friday and loaded his truck up and went wheeling and camping for the weekend. He sort of forgot to tell his wife. When he wandered in late on Sunday night, his wife went rather ballistic. "Where have you been for three days??? I've been worried sick about you!!! How would you like it if you didn't see me for three days???"

He thought about it a bit and said "Why Hon, I think I'd like that just fine." Monday, he didn't see her. Tuesday he didn't see her. Wednesday he didn't see her. Thursday, out of the corner of his eye, he could just make out her shape as the swelling started to go down.

 

Did you hear the one about the Minister who checked into a Motel?

He said to the desk clerk "I sure hope my rooms pornography channel is disabled"
To which the clerk replied "Nope, its just regular pornography, you sick f*ck"