got a good joke to share---post it here!
Super Member
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,479
From: tennessee
RE: got a good joke to share---post it here!
thats a god one brent, my family loved that one because we got a new alarm a few monthes ago and its been nothing but problems. i told them we should try your's
BF Veteran
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,128
From: Princeton, NC, USA
RE: got a good joke to share---post it here!
Thanks. It was one of those e-mail jokes that come by every once in a while.
Here one I got at the turn of the year....
Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008
#10 Life is sexually transmitted.
#9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#8 Men have two emotions:Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.
#6 Some people are like a Slinky . Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.
#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.
#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
#2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The #1 Thought For 2008 :
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of IMMIGRATION and NATIONAL SECURITY!
Confucious say:
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers.
What you do today, might Burn Your *** Tomorrow."
Here one I got at the turn of the year....
Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2008
#10 Life is sexually transmitted.
#9 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#8 Men have two emotions:Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day, teach a person to use the internet
and they won't bother you for weeks.
#6 Some people are like a Slinky . Not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile
when you shove them down the stairs.
#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to Criticism.
#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you $200.00 and a substantial tax cut saves you $30.00?
#2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is Weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
And The #1 Thought For 2008 :
We know exactly where one cow with Mad-cow-disease is located among millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where millions of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of IMMIGRATION and NATIONAL SECURITY!
Confucious say:
"Life is like a jar of Jalapeno peppers.
What you do today, might Burn Your *** Tomorrow."
BF Veteran
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,128
From: Princeton, NC, USA
RE: got a good joke to share---post it here!
Confucius say jokes-
• Confucius say, woman who go camping must beware of evil intent
• Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left
• Confucius say, squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts
• Confucius say, man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants
• Confucius say, man who run before bus get tired
• Confucius say, man who run behind bus get exhausted
• Confucius say, woman who go camping must beware of evil intent
• Confucius say, war not determine who right. War determine who left
• Confucius say, squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts
• Confucius say, man who keep feet on ground have trouble putting on pants
• Confucius say, man who run before bus get tired
• Confucius say, man who run behind bus get exhausted
RE: got a good joke to share---post it here!
I got a fortune cookie today at panda express and it reads:
You will be hungry in 1 hour!! I got to tell you that is the first time one of those cookies told the truth!!! LOL
You will be hungry in 1 hour!! I got to tell you that is the first time one of those cookies told the truth!!! LOL
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 891
From: Crossville, TN
RE: got a good joke to share---post it here!
Confucious say...man who go to bed with itchy *** wake up with smelly fingers!
Confucious say...man who sit on top of mountain with mouth open waiting for roast duck to fly in mouth, wait long time!
Confucious say...man who sit on top of mountain with mouth open waiting for roast duck to fly in mouth, wait long time!
Thread Starter
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Super Member
Joined: May 2006
Posts: 1,578
From: Plainville, Connecticut
RE: got a good joke to share---post it here!
First off, I apologize to any cops on here
NEVER SAY TO A COP
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK inTexas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
NEVER SAY TO A COP
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer. (OK inTexas)
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other
cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. When the Officer says "Gee Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?" You probably shouldn't respond with,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"