One Less Honda on the road...
 

Well boys and girls, I was involved in my first accident. (not intentionally involving a HMMWV and unyeilding Iraqis).

I was minding my own business with some sweet sweet vietnameese food racing through my mind when suddely a powder blue (with rattle can black hood to look carbon fiber no less!)
88 CRX cut me off avoiding a stopping bus from the right lane. Enjoying the though of spring rolls and rice a little less, I decelerated and waited to pass the bus before changing lanes away from my would-be rear ending pal. Almost as soon as I took up prime real estate in the right lane, the vehicle in front of our CRX driving chum signaled a left turn and began slowing down.

This is an '88 Honda! How dare you?!

Since he is way more important than anyone else on the road, Mr. CRX decided that he liked my spot in traffic more than his own, and came on over with out calling first. I did what any responsible adult would do, and remembered that I have a $0 deductible and coverage for days, so I laid on the horn and powered through his right front fender just behind the tire.

The impact straightened him out and allowed for my front left tire to burn a nice looking half moon into his passenger door. When all was said and done, no injuries and some sweet insurance info later, we went on our merry way.

Its all fun and games until some one changes lanes with out bother ing to even look, let alone signal. Only 1 crappy cell phone pic to show for it, but can you believe they want to give me $1100 for a rubbed sidewall on my cheap ass tires, light scratches to the stupid looking Street Scene SS bumper cover this thing came with, and a tumbnail size dent in my fender right behind the bumper/in front of the tire!?!?!?

Looks like I can finally get my 4WD back up and running, 2" BL, cat back exhaust, and shackles now :D BTW they totaled his ride!!!!

Wow, nice work on the CRX... btw I couldn't stop laughing with your description. I knew there was a reason why you were missed.

:D *wipes a single tear* It's good to be back :D

Stupid honda...

The "that is an 88 honda, how dare you" what movie is that from, ive heard it before.

Sweet doeal on the insurance, his doesn't look totaled and you got out with a few scratches for $1100!!

Nice work!! stupid people on the road these days...
I think the honda lines from employee of the month

Employee of the Month. Barring that quote, (it was '81 Honda) a deplorable movie to say the least...
Totaled in that the cost of the repairs > value of vehicle. So they total it.

As for my pay off, I have to get an alignment and balancing to make it legit. I plan to drop a new pitman arm and idler arm in just for the hell of it (and to tighten up the steering).
Then getting my TC working is prioirty number 1. I have to choose between heater door servo and ac compressor fixes OR +2" body lift and +1.5" (or 2") shackles. Decisions, decisions....

Basically being merged into by this kid was the best thing that happened to my truck since me buying it!*

*barring me driving it into a pond....

Eh, who needs the heater/ac. GO FOR THE LIFT!!!

Driving it into a pond? Do tell!

i'm gonna second that one!

nice job on the CRX. at least they're gonna cover the collateral damage from that idiot.

I'm with you on that. with a new AC compressor costing $230 BEFORE s&h and coolant i take 2" BL at $214 FTW! Bonus: My heater works 'round the clock so I'll never be cold!

As far as my pond story.... I guess it's not thread jacking if I started the thread huh?
Grab a brew (or dew if yer underage) and let your eyes ball wander across this tale of dumbassery...

So imagine you're me. You are back from Iraq and have about 3 months in North Carolina before you will be moving to oregon to link up with your family. Naturally you need some wheels. The beautiful thing about military bases is that people come and go often. At a place like Ft. Bragg (essentially the NYC of the Army) people come and go A LOT. There is a spot on the edge of the base known as the "Lemon Lot". Here people line their rides up and with many a tearful goodbye, part with their once and former vehicles before departing for any number of magical and wonderous places (Iraq/Afghanistan, germany, Korea, back to the real world, et.)

I found my self cruising the lemon lot on a glosious October morn in a sweet rental G6. After laying my eyes on a sign that said (Permanent Change of Station) "PCSing to Germany, MUST SELL!" I knew I had my patsy. And the 2000 4x4x4 Blazer with 172k miles that propped the sign up wasn't half bad either. After going to my temporary quarters and KBB-ing the vehicle i found the $3500 the kid was asking to be rather generous considering the Clear Euro Tails/Markers/Head Lights, Street Scene SS Bumper Cover, Street Scene Grill Insert, and new transmission he had slapped on a 4WD SUV (idiot).

After the test drive, I whined a little about the dent in D side door, missing center caps on the wheels (!) and inability of the rear wiper to spray juice on command, and presented him $2500 cash moneys. Remember, going to Germany, had to sell. After throughly bending him over I took my new baby to a car wash and loved her up a little.

I had very little intention on keeping this Blazer. TBH I figured i would sell it for a small-to-nil profit when my orderes were cut, and leave it in the hands of some other would be chump. And I did. So in November after finding a guy that was interested in a 4WD SUV for only $3k, we went for a test drive. After a few spins around the block, he wanted to know if the 4WD worked. What better way to test it out, than to test it out, am i right? (I was not) and we were off!

North Carolina is a beautiful, horrible, awful state full of truck staining/eating red drit/sand/clay. Trust me, this stuff hates you. And mocks laundry detergent. So we buzz around a few tank trails and fire brakes, climb a sissy hill, and plow through some grass and sticks before coming across a tried and true water hole. Tracks in, tracks out, whats not to love? I got set up on a good straight run and proceeded to break ALL of the wheeling commandments:
Thou shalt not wheel alone. Check.
Thou shalt not wheel in unknown parts with out cell phone reception, or a CB. Check.
Thou shalt not nose dive a water hole before checking the depth. Check.
Thou shalt not wheel with out recovery equipment. Check.
Thou shalt not test your untested 4WD whilest wheeling. And Check.

With my novice mudding knowledge (look a HMMWV can do a LOT with out any driver skill) and a potential buyer to impress, I dropped her into 4Hi, didn't bother to see if it locked in or not, and made my run at the middle of the hole. I did not BLAST into the water at top speed, but I did not roll smoothly through it either. About 3 car lengths into the puddle, the Blazer gaver her death gasp and stoped dead in place. right about then, water began flooding through the doors and onto my once-light grey carpeting.

A flurry of swearing that only 2 Army kids could produce later, we both stood in my trunk staring into the orange soup that was slowly eating my front end. Still hopeful at this point, i popped out the rear hatch glass and promply sank mid thigh deep in crud. now the funny thing is this; the pond/puddle/water hole was only about 8" deep. Sadly, the water sat ontop of another 2' or so of pure slime goo. made of sand. and clay. orange like a clowns hair as he mocks you and your mired vehicle.

Well it started raining on us at about this point, so we wandered back to a street, and moved around looking for passer's by and cell signals. Eventually a HMMWV came by. hot damn! hopefully he has a winch i naively though as I flagged it down. no such luck. but it did have a "full bird" O-6 colonel (one rank less than general a.k.a not the guys to flag down for help). His driver tossed my a pitty tow strap, and after surrendering my name and unit, the Col left us just as screwed as before, and me more so now....

Eventually an L-MTV (military semi) came by. A friendly crew followed my back into the sticks, and attempted to pull me out. After three failed attempts, and two 3500 lb straps snapped later, with 4 total straps and essentially a semi in lo-lock drug the carcass of my once vibrant Blazer from the pond-like bowels of hell.

After a passing hillbilly hauled me home, I shopped around and found a new rebuilt 4.3 with 85k miles on it, installed, for $1800. The mechanic said that i could have hunted kangaroos with my pistons they were so F-ed from the water sucked into my engine.

Needless to say, I did not sell my truck, AND my wife was very happy that i got a new engine (and by that i mean pissed) so my punishment was to drag it across the country and keep it as my DD since i had "wasted" so much $ on it already.

you asked for it, you got it. My pond story. *paraphrased, of course*
Oh and Pics or it never happened
the pictures were snapped via my cell phone, and are in reverse order. #2 is right after it happened. #1 is before attaching the first strap the Col gave me, as the front end slowly sank.

too long to edit.... brain = fried

:icon_laugh: that's f**kin' hilarious!! :icon_laugh:

sir, i humbly give up my "Dumb Ass Move" award to you (jk).

see, i would never inflict that carnage upon my own vehicle, that's why i rent Escort's during Chrismas, and drive the s**t outta them in the forest.

glad you were in a good enough mood to "snap a few" before it was over.

hahahaha it even looks like you've got a smile on your face by the end of it!

I had already posted this pic so I am directing you to it instead of reposting. not smiling. Not by any means.... I was giving my best hill billy grin. You will see what i mean here btw that was a really good thread :p and as a side note i am STILL waiting on it to be fixed. Uncle Sam is forgetful...

Well look at the bright side, you answered the question of whether or not your 4 wheel drive actually worked :icon_teeth:. Plus, what would life be without a little bit of screw-ups along the way, right?

And I'm glad that stupid honda's life was ended lol. Luckily for you the idiot who changed lanes was in fact in only a honda, the person that did it to me was in a Tahoe. Yes, he still lost. I got $780 for a smashed fender ( $50 in a junk yard) and a couple broken marker lights (already have extras). That money later served a good purpose of paying for the rotating assembly in my new motor lol.

*clap*clap*clap*clap*

Not a wise move my friend.

@1oldK5: to be honest, even a tahoe doesn't stand much of a change vs a K5 as tall as yours ...

@ oktain: yes... but where the hell was your logic BEFORE I was intake deep in a sludge puddle :p

and I did a little shopping, found a chrome bumper (no trim, no valance), a tow hitch reciever, AND an extra roof rack bar for $75. no I can throw this stupid bumper cover on craigslist and fish for $20 :D

BTW getting alignment/pitman/idler/balanceing done today whee!

Don't flame me, but I'd be interested in that bumper cover lol... where are you located? is it damaged (cracked) at all?

HAHA yea I know even a tahoe doesn't stand a chance, most newer cars don't stand a chance against anything old just because of how they are built, everything is plastic rather then metal. Cheaper plus it's lighter and we all know lighter=better mileage= better selling point.

oktain: not a flame, sarcasim :icon_teeth: OH you mean on the BC... ill shoot you a picture. There is very shallow scratches on the front D side where it wraps around (maybe 4-6" long) that would easily sand out. Also, there is a nice ball hitch sized semi circle from where a previous owner got up close and personal with somebody's tow set up, but it isn't THAT bad (probably the size of half of the top half of standard door knob) ill PM you a pic if you are still interested.

1oldK5: yet look at all the folks here trying to make their old, less efficient heaps keep on truckin' & everyone knows lighter = faster and faster = safe since you spend less time next to the fool that wants your lane.... :D

I'm thinking about it... I'm going to get the "you're ****ing nuts!" from my dad, and I'm curious if it'd be able to keep my tow hooks...

I just really like the look of the front end on 1baddblazer's truck.

well, here is a pic ooo of what it looks like on my truck. pull it up and pull up the thumbnail on the bottom to better spot the damage i mentioned. still interested? I'll do a professional center fold of it for you if yes.

Also it WILL cover your tow hooks, BUT they are just to the side of the lower center opening, and you can still hook up and pull things/be towed, with out damage to the bumper.

Haha that's very true that's why I opted to build a 383 instead of just a stock 350 even though it would have been a hell of a lot cheaper. Truck has some nice get up and go for how heavy the damn thing is and it'll be that much better if I actually get around to removing the body lift and stepping down to a 35" tire like I would like to.

I'll talk to the father figure in my life and see what he thinks lol, he'll be helping me with the install.

install! lolz its a bumper cover. remove grille(yank) then 4 bolts + 4 nuts + your time to tighten them = installed :p just slides over existing bumper/valance :D

UPDATE: The Casualties are Rising!

This just in! The latest battlefield estimates put the part-death toll much higher than originally speculated. While it was know at the time of impact that a tire had been lost, the alignment was presumed gone, and a balancing weight gave of itself for the greater good, the known damage count continues to climb.

Today a Hub and Bearing assemby, upper, and lower ball joint succumb to wounds recieved. Already disheartened by 2 days without a vehicle, the Blazers owner was quoted just this morning saying, "Really? Well hell, That means I'm stuck in this rented Jetta until Monday now? Looks like I'll go lurk around the VW Forum then."

When the Blazer was reached for comment, it did not respond to questions. As it is a truck. :icon_razz:

LMAO, hope the insurance $$$ covers it all.

got another "One Less Honda On The Road" story for you tonight.

my wife needed to get a baby shower gift for tomorrow, so she called me and said, "meet me @ the "Park 'n Ride" (@ Hwy's 400 & 9), and we'll go into Newmarket for dinner too. so i meet her there for 5:20 tonight, do the "how was your day dear" bit, and we're on our way. not even 3 minutes down the road, some asshole, in a new Civic no less (talk about ironic!), decides that he's gonna wait until i'm 100 feet from his driver's door, to casually pull out in front of me.
i'll give him that since i was traveling EB, the Sun was in his eyes, but you'd think this would make a person triple check before merging onto a highway from a stop.
for those that don't know the area, Highway 9 (which i was on) is a major rural highway that runs East/West across the top of Toronto, has a posted speed of 80K (50 MPH) but everyone does 100K (60 MPH), and is 4 lanes wide with a center turn lane aprox. 15 feet wide.
where this idiot was pulling out from, is right where they just installed new traffic lights (just activated them on Tuesday), now i know why.
lucky for this tool i had just put on my Blizzak's (my Toyo's seem to lock up really easily when i hammer the brakes), 'cause when i hit the brakes and swerved out & right back in to miss him by "practically nothing" (according to my wife), since i was also trying not to take out the 3 girls in a black Cavalier on my left rear quarter, the tires grabbed like they had glue on them (thank God). i only realized after the near miss, how hard i had hit the brakes-my interior panel for the moon roof had slid 3/4 of the way shut!
the biggest pisser, this waste-of-human-DNA never even tried to aviod anything. never went for the shoulder, never hit his brakes, he just kept coming out while flashing his high beams @ me! at least the 3 girls in the Cavalier were appreciative of my lightning reflexes.

just goes to show why i'm always telling my kids to try not to distract me (or any one who's driving) so much, it's a freakin' dangerous world we have to drive in everyday.

i'm glad you made it out of that one! That could have ended in tragedy very easily, and I'm not just talking about mashing up your Blazer...
It seems to always be the a-hole with no regard for anyone else that pulls this kind of crap. You never get run off the road by a dude that stops, comes to see if you are ok, and say sorry you put it in a ditch because i was in a hurry. ya'know?

PFT! the insurance $ was for the other damage! i am about to become a full fledged recruiter, i SHOULD be able to sell this as "additional unseen damages found by a qualified mechanic after the first outside inspection" to get this covered. i'm open to suggestions by anyone who has dealt with insurance companies before... :D

'defraud' is such a dirty word... i like to think of it more as 'creative billing' ....

yeah, me too. we all know how well the front bumpers stand up to anything other than wind on these 2nd gen trucks.

is this damage on the same side as the collision? even if it wasn't, you can argue that the force of the crash, caused excessive deflected load on the opposing side of the vehicle. i used the same "lawyer mumbo-jumbo" talk when dealing with collision repairs for my Mother's car a few years ago, and it worked. same situation as you, it was 4 or 5 days later when the other side of the suspension broke.
give it a try, it's not being "creative" or "defrauding" since this tool caused the collision.

Consider your wording 'stolen'. :p On a related note: Have you ever considered an exciting career as a U.S. Army Recruiter... ? :D

Well I have one, not a honda, a Caliber (seems these cars just hate me) see:https://blazerforum.com/forum/lounge-5/post-your-idiotic-driver-stories-31186/

But on my way down the highway, the two lane highway opened up to a 4 lane, using the opportunity to pass the newbie chick driving the caliber ahead of me, and the transports sturggling up the hill, I dropped it into third and floored it.

Feeling satisfied with the passing power the truck was putting to the ground and the grunt coming from my intake, I was (luckily) keeping an eye on said caliber. She suddenly decided to change the rules of engagement and do everything driver's ed told her NOT to do. Without 1. signalling and 2. looking, she (strike) 3. pulled into my lane.

With me honking the horn in short bursts, and then finally LEANING INTO THE HORN, she didn't stop coming for my passenger's side front fender. The "OMG Not my Blazer!" part of my brain taking over, I looked ahead and saw no one in the oncoming passing lane other than a Silverado with no one around him, flashing the highbeams (screw the horn) and putting my signal on I pulled into his lane and he thankfully had the brain power to see what was happening and pulled off into the "slow" lane and all head on collisions were averted. Seeing as I was doing 130 km/h at this point I'm thankful.

I looked over at her and I got this "OMG WHERE"D YOU COME FROM?" look from the driver. Getting into the little town, I saw her pull into a Tim Horton's in my rear-view, I pulled in the second entrance and parked next to her, I got out, gently knocked on her window, and with me knees still shaking from all the excitement, politely asked her "WTF WERE YOU DOING?" I wasn't angry, I was pretty calm considering what happened. "Hi, did you see me coming up next to you back there?" "No..." *blank look* "So you pulled out without checking first?" "Yes..." *dummer look* :icon_wake: "Alright... next time, unless you're trying to kill yourself or the people in the other vehicle, turn down your music, hang up the phone, and LOOK to see if someone is coming up beside you. Sound good to you? Because you almost caused an accident back there. Another thing... The next guy won't be this calm and polite. Have a nice day."

Needless to say, I did get to pass the transports, and I had enough restraint to avoid getting charged with some sort of crime... namely assault.

ABN, you can have your thread back now lol.

LOL I remember that thread :D

hell, this thread has become a "calling all a-hole stories!" thread. im glad. my "a honda clipped me" post would be awful damn boring if you guys hadn't chimed in with your near misses (or accidents :() as it were.
it's just too bad you couldn't pull a "see she was in shock and needed immediate attention" so you could blast out here D side window with a rescue tool, slash her seat belt, and drag her bodily through said former window. i believe she would look before merging after that :D
Ahh cool comforting road rage.... that is why I just plowed through my guy...

funny you sould say that. i had the wife of a friend of mine tell me tonight, "have you ever thought about being a drill Sergeant?". she was giving me s**t for talking too loud while she was laying down her twin girls. hey, i was outside, at the end of the driveway (about 50 feet away), it's not my fault new houses have poor sound insulation in them, hahahahaha!
i don't think i could make it work though, i'd probably have the new recruits wanting to quit before they unpack their bags.

Thats the idea :D

well first things first, we will have to perform a mapple leaf-ectomy... are you man enough to leave the land of easy (if cold) living and trudge your way through life as another cog in the American machine? (you can be a fuel pump assembly....we have been looking for a new one since our sending unit went belly up...) :icon_evil:

You guys are totally cracking me up! AB - that totally sucked about what happened with the Colonel! OMG...ROFLMAO

Glad YOU enjoyed it. I had to answer to the Dep Bde Commander AND do a safety stand down day "Don't be a dumbass" LMAO