Last weekend the lower rad hose on my 99 jimmy let go and hosed down pretty much everything. Its now wont start, cranks super slow and is acting like it has crazy low voltage even with a fresh charge or even a jump. Im not seeing any codes on my scanner but it will drain a fresh battery in about 10 min.

sooo, WTF did i fry? My best guess is the voltage regulator in the alternator didint take kindly to getting soaked... id be stoked if anybody has any clues though...

 

Sounds to me like Your engine sized up.

 

A parasitic drain test will show which circuits are killing the battery. Youtube has videos demonstrating the procedure.

 

Ill try that test with my multi meter, ill also try and turn it by hand today, then pull the alt off and test it... if it just siezed id expect the starter to sound stressed or not be able to turn it at all, but will crank a couple times real slow as if the battery is low even when its jumped off another car. it acts like it has crazy low voltage, wont let me get the key out and i haft to triggle the neutral safety on the shifter by hand to get it out of park... im afraid it spun a bearing or sum but all the electrical **** has me puzzled..

 

Having trouble getting the key out points to an ignition switch problem. Common problem which would explain the other issues. That's where I'd look first.

 

i can get the key out when its being jumped, but it acts like it has low voltage anytime its powered off off of a stand alone battery...

 

You may also like to attach a socket key to a crankshaft balancer bolt and see if You're able to manually rotate the engine. It should move with not much of a torque.
Actually what is the voltage on Your battery?
Personally I don't expect You'd have problems with a non-zero resistance somewhere. Starter consumes lots of a current, so any non-zero resistance would immediately be burned. Maybe the starter is a problem then?

 

If you attach a properly charged battery to the system and leave it alone, does the battery start to discharge?

George

 

i get 12.5+ off the battery, it acts like its low on power even when being jumped off another car. I thought about starter but seems to coinsidal to never give me issues and just let go at the same time as the hose and all.

it kills a fresh battery almost instantly, i hook it up and hear the relay box start to go nuts, the turn signal flasher makes the weird sounds they do with low voltage, and the hatch and wiper also pop and wipe erraticly

could the ecm have been damaged? Its supposed to be waterproof, but this is too weird.

 

Yes, dead within minuets.
Even acts like its low when jumped.