got a good joke to share---post it here!
#131
09-14-2009, 09:44 AM
A Short Fairy Tale
Once upon a time a man asked a woman to marry him. She said No!
And the guy lived happily ever after, rode his motorcycle drove his blazer, fished & hunted whenever he wanted, drank beer & scotch, had lots of money in the bank, left the toilet seat up & farted whenever he felt like it.
The End
Once upon a time a man asked a woman to marry him. She said No!
And the guy lived happily ever after, rode his motorcycle drove his blazer, fished & hunted whenever he wanted, drank beer & scotch, had lots of money in the bank, left the toilet seat up & farted whenever he felt like it.
The End
#132
10-03-2009, 11:49 PM
An old man is sitting on his porch and sees a young boy walking down the road. And he has his arms full of chicken wire. The Man asks what the wire is for and the boy says for catching chickens. The man laughes and wastes the rest of the day away. That night when he gets ready to head inside, he sees the boy walking back with a number of chickens under each arm. "I told you so", the boy said with a grin as the man walked inside.
The next day the boy passes the man agian, this time with a box of duct tape. The man says "Let me guess, your gonna catch ducks right?" The boy nods and continues on. Sure enough later that night. The smiling boy came back with a box full of ducks and waved at the dumb founded man.
On the third day the boy walks by and the man asks whats in the bags on his shoulder. The boy says "I've got a few bags of pu$$ywillows". The man rushed in his house and came back out with his hat and cane and said,
Hold on son, I'm commin' with ya.
RIP Patrick S
Why should'nt you be upset about Patrick dying?
As long as Whoopi Goldberg is alive we can still talk to him.
(The movie Ghost, alright not the best but it's not bad. Agian, no disrepect towards Pat)
The next day the boy passes the man agian, this time with a box of duct tape. The man says "Let me guess, your gonna catch ducks right?" The boy nods and continues on. Sure enough later that night. The smiling boy came back with a box full of ducks and waved at the dumb founded man.
On the third day the boy walks by and the man asks whats in the bags on his shoulder. The boy says "I've got a few bags of pu$$ywillows". The man rushed in his house and came back out with his hat and cane and said,
Hold on son, I'm commin' with ya.
RIP Patrick S
Why should'nt you be upset about Patrick dying?
As long as Whoopi Goldberg is alive we can still talk to him.
(The movie Ghost, alright not the best but it's not bad. Agian, no disrepect towards Pat)
#133
10-31-2009, 06:05 PM
i got a few
a string walks into a bar
sits down at the bar and the bartender points to a sign that says no strings allowed
so the string walks out of the bar and starts to think
he says, ok ill unravel myself and tie myself into a knot
he walks back into the bar and it fools the bartender
but then he takes a closer look, and says hey werent you that string that i told to get out?
the string replys, no im afrayed knot!
2 blonds are coming out of the movies and realize theyve left their keys in the car
so one blond finds a coat hanger and works for an hour or two trying to open the door
she takes a break, and the other blond says, hey get back to work, its about to rain
and the top is down
a string walks into a bar
sits down at the bar and the bartender points to a sign that says no strings allowed
so the string walks out of the bar and starts to think
he says, ok ill unravel myself and tie myself into a knot
he walks back into the bar and it fools the bartender
but then he takes a closer look, and says hey werent you that string that i told to get out?
the string replys, no im afrayed knot!
2 blonds are coming out of the movies and realize theyve left their keys in the car
so one blond finds a coat hanger and works for an hour or two trying to open the door
she takes a break, and the other blond says, hey get back to work, its about to rain
and the top is down
#134
11-23-2009, 08:51 AM
Seeing as I have NFLD blood in me, and most jokes make fun of newfies, heres one to stand up for them.
A newfie and a lawyer are sitting beside eachother on a plane.
After about 3 hours of flight the lawyer turns to the newfie and says "Hey lets play a game. Ill ask you a question and if you dont know the answer you give me $5. Then you ask me one and if I dont know the answer ill give you $500."
"Sure that sounds alright," says the newfie.
So the lawyer asks the newfie a question. After thinking for a few minutes, the newfie admits defeat and hands the lawyer $5.
Then the newfie turns to the lawyer and says, "what has 3 legs going up the hill, and 4 coming down the other side?"
The lawyer is stumped, but doesnt give up that easy. For hours he searches the internet, calls his lawyer friends, everything he can think of, all while the newfie takes a nap.
After 3 hours of thinking, the lawyer wakes up the newfie, admits defeat, and hands him $500. He then asks the newfie the very same question, to which the newfie replies, "not a clue," and hands him $5.
Thought it was a good one.
A newfie and a lawyer are sitting beside eachother on a plane.
After about 3 hours of flight the lawyer turns to the newfie and says "Hey lets play a game. Ill ask you a question and if you dont know the answer you give me $5. Then you ask me one and if I dont know the answer ill give you $500."
"Sure that sounds alright," says the newfie.
So the lawyer asks the newfie a question. After thinking for a few minutes, the newfie admits defeat and hands the lawyer $5.
Then the newfie turns to the lawyer and says, "what has 3 legs going up the hill, and 4 coming down the other side?"
The lawyer is stumped, but doesnt give up that easy. For hours he searches the internet, calls his lawyer friends, everything he can think of, all while the newfie takes a nap.
After 3 hours of thinking, the lawyer wakes up the newfie, admits defeat, and hands him $500. He then asks the newfie the very same question, to which the newfie replies, "not a clue," and hands him $5.
Thought it was a good one.
#135
11-23-2009, 01:59 PM
Super Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Eastern Central New York State
Posts: 1,003
How many nerds does it take to change a lightbulb???
Answer 1: None. They call in the football team to do it for them.
Answer 2: They don't have to if it is LED. Nerd love LED lights.
Answer 1: None. They call in the football team to do it for them.
Answer 2: They don't have to if it is LED. Nerd love LED lights.
#136
12-04-2009, 10:43 PM
#137
12-07-2009, 09:39 AM
http://www.break.com/usercontent/200...racist-1514784
had to post this i was almost in tears laughing
had to post this i was almost in tears laughing
#139
12-09-2009, 07:12 PM
Originally Posted by MuddBunny84
http://www.break.com/usercontent/200...racist-1514784
had to post this i was almost in tears laughing
had to post this i was almost in tears laughing
And most of them knew the Holocaust was REAL, 'cause their sons told them of the horrors of that when they came back from WWII
#140
12-09-2009, 07:45 PM
hey, mark i dunno lol i just found it and HAD to post it, it gave me a good giggle *being german and all* :P
