Hahahahhahahaha ^^^^^

 

Nice.

 

im not sure if this has already been posted but its funny and needs to be re posted lol

The Ford is a pecuilar animal. The species is a short lived as they are known for their short life spans. There are movements out to protect the species and heal them as they are prone to disease with a poor immune system. The ford can be found throughout north america as well as some other areas of the word. The ford will attempt to blend in with its surroundings and will go to all costs to avoid an altercation with a Chevrolet as the Ford will always lose to the superior species.
For more information on the Ford species please contact your local junkyard.

 

A boy that lives on a farm is awakened by his mother early in the morning on the weekend. She tells him he won't get breakfast until he does his chores. One of his chores involves feeding all the animals. While he was feeding the animals he takes out his aggression on some of them. He kicks a chicken, a cow, and a pig. When he finished his chores his mother just gives him a bowl of dry cereal. When he asks why, his mother tells him that he didn't get any milk because he kicked the cow. He didn't get any eggs because he kicked the chicken and he didn't get bacon because he kicked the pig. Right then his father comes in and kicks the cat. The boy looks at his mother and says "Would you like to tell him or should I?"

 

"If all the girls who have attended the Yale Prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised."
- Dorothy Parker, 1938

 

Yo momma so poor that she walks down the road with one shoe.............................................. ..When people ask if she lost a shoe she says no I found one

 

whats the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth?

one US leader..

 

There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine.

Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted it in the machine. Studying the machine carefully, she pushed the button for Coke Classic and out came a Coke Classic and 50 cents change.

She immediately took the 50 cents and put it in the machine, studied it for a moment and pushed the Mountain Dew button. Out came a Mountain Dew. As she was reaching into her purse again, the business man who had been waiting patiently for several minutes now spoke up.

"Excuse me Ms. but are you done yet?" She looked at him and indignantly replied: "Well Duhhh!, I'm still winning"

 

A blonde from California decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace, but the blonde begins to slip from the saddle.

In terror, she grabs for the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse's neck, but
she slides down the side of the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly oblivious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup, she is now at the mercy of the horse's pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground over and over. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune . . . the Supermarket manager sees her and shuts the horse off.

 

www.s1222.photobucket.com/albums/dd486/Rottidog/?action=view&current=understandingwomen.jpg
'nuff said!