Get well soon! Wishing the best for ya.

 

Hope all goes well & get well soon mate!

 

Let's see, whats some jokes that won't offend anyone here or get me banned...

What's the diffrence between jail and a hospitol?
In a hospitol they tell you they are going to stab you!
(PS: I can't spell great so bear with me)

A man goes to walk in his sons room and hears him praying. He stops by the door and listens to what his son says;
Lord, you took away my favorite actor Patrick Swayze. You took my favorite singer Michael Jackson, and you took away my favorite angel Farrah Faset. I just wanted you to know my favorite president is Barrak Obama....

And an oldy but goody...
A woman is pulled over for speeding on her way to work. The officer asks her for license and registration and states that she was doing 43 in a 40. When she responded that she was late for work. He said thats no excuse and walked back to his car. When he came back he gave her back her license and registration and asked just what job she had that was so important as to risk her saftey and the publics.

She responded I'am a rectal stretcher if you must know. He asked what that pertained to. She said we'll I work with my patients by getting one finger in, then another, then working my whole hand. And so on and so on untill it's about 6 foot in diameter. The shocked and appaled officer asked what is the purpose of a 6 foot a$$hole?

She said you put them on the side of the road with radar guns...
(no offence Okvortec or anyone else, just jokes )

Get rest and I'll keep ya in my prayers. Ever think of just getting the rotor router man to just stick that spinning pipe cleaner up your..... nevermind lol

 

That sucks, best of luck to you.

 

Hope you get better. Now I gotta go take a poop.. lol

 

Hope you can eat and poop soon! I hate going to the hospital, when I get stressed I get a lump on my tailbone that has to be punctured and drained and it hurts like all hell but feels good after its drained. Thats why I just turfed my old lady of years and moved back to Edmonton, cause she caused that thing on my tailbone twice a year with her spending habits and double standards! Bring on the hotter and younger chicks now that Im a bachelor again!

--Why did they invent white chocolate?
--So that all the black kids can get dirty faces too!

--What is blue and smells like red paint?
--Blue paint.

--How do you circumcise a redneck?
--Hit his sister in the chin.

I used to work in a nightclub for years and had many funny encounters with the public. Heres one of my favorites

So i was Searching people coming into the club and one guy had some stuff in his pocket I asked to see, he pulls out a bunch of junk and I ask what is was
He says "Why that would be a condom, you ever seen one of those?"
I say "Funny guy huh? Yeah I burn those up like matches, you ever seen the serial number on one?"
He says "There is a serial number on condoms?"
I say "Yeah, why dont you try rolling it on farther!"
It got quite the laugh out of the crowd waiting to get in.

 

man that sucks.

hope you're back to your normal self soon.....................not really sure if that's really better or not.