got a good joke to share---post it here!
Senior Member
Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 847
From: Charleston, WV
Loyalty amongst genders.
A woman doesn't come home one night. Tell's her husband she stayed the night with a friend. Husband calls her 10 best friends. All 10 knew nothing about this.
A man doesn't come home one night. Tell's his wife he stayed the night with a friend. Wife calls his 10 best friends. 8 of them claim he stayed with them last night and 2 of them claim he's still at thier house.
A woman doesn't come home one night. Tell's her husband she stayed the night with a friend. Husband calls her 10 best friends. All 10 knew nothing about this.
A man doesn't come home one night. Tell's his wife he stayed the night with a friend. Wife calls his 10 best friends. 8 of them claim he stayed with them last night and 2 of them claim he's still at thier house.
Wile hilary clinton was in texas campeigning she was sitting outside with the governor of texas in front of a large crowed. The whole time hilary was there, there were flies that kept bugging her. Right before hilary was about to get up and give her speech she turned to the govenor of texas and asked
"What are these retched flies called?"
"They are called circle flies mam", he replies.
"Why do you call them that?" she asks.
" Well becasue they tend to cricle the rear end of horses." he replies.
" Are you insinuating that I am a horses rear end sir?"
"Not at all mam, I would never refer to a senator as respectable as you mam, in that way."
She gives him a look and stands to give her speech. As soon as she begins to talk the govenor leans over to his secretary and mumbles, "But it's damn hard to fool those circle flies."
"What are these retched flies called?"
"They are called circle flies mam", he replies.
"Why do you call them that?" she asks.
" Well becasue they tend to cricle the rear end of horses." he replies.
" Are you insinuating that I am a horses rear end sir?"
"Not at all mam, I would never refer to a senator as respectable as you mam, in that way."
She gives him a look and stands to give her speech. As soon as she begins to talk the govenor leans over to his secretary and mumbles, "But it's damn hard to fool those circle flies."
Beginning Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 15
From: Phoenix, AZ
A joke for the kids...
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
And a couple you can tell around the kids(should go over their heads)...
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.29, deer nuts are under a buck.
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
What kind of bees produce milk?
Boobies.
And a couple you can tell around the kids(should go over their heads)...
What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $1.29, deer nuts are under a buck.
What do a walrus and Tupperware have in common?
They both like a tight seal.
Not really jokes, just one liners Ive been vicitim to that made me smile, or that I have said to others.
I was taking my first and only flight to Vancouver, and the stewardess asked if I wanted anything. I asked her with a smile "How do I join the mile high club?" and she replied with a smile "It doesnt count when you are by yourself..."
I was speeding down the highway and got caught going about 25km over the limit. The policeman asked if I knew why he pulled me over. I say "Nope, but I bet you are going to tell me" to which he replied, "Even better, Ill write it down for you..."
Ive been in the bathroom peeing when new kids at work come in to use it too. I will stare sideways at them till they look back at me, then ask "You want to see what it looks like when you grown up?"
I was taking my first and only flight to Vancouver, and the stewardess asked if I wanted anything. I asked her with a smile "How do I join the mile high club?" and she replied with a smile "It doesnt count when you are by yourself..."
I was speeding down the highway and got caught going about 25km over the limit. The policeman asked if I knew why he pulled me over. I say "Nope, but I bet you are going to tell me" to which he replied, "Even better, Ill write it down for you..."
Ive been in the bathroom peeing when new kids at work come in to use it too. I will stare sideways at them till they look back at me, then ask "You want to see what it looks like when you grown up?"
BF Veteran
Joined: Jul 2009
Posts: 2,229
From: Central Il
http://games.adultswim.com/robot-uni...line-game.html
Just for your girly gold phone cover... Lol, jk, but seriously, simple game..... and slightly addicting...
Just for your girly gold phone cover... Lol, jk, but seriously, simple game..... and slightly addicting...
Starting Member
Joined: Aug 2010
Posts: 106
From: Sulphur, Oklahoma
I got another...
Two cars got into a terrible wreck on a country road. One driver pulls out a bottle of scothch and says "Hey, since we're both unharmed, let's celebrate!" The other driver says "ok" and takes the bottle and downs half of it. He hands the bottle back to the other person, and they seal it back up. "Why aren't you drinking?" The first one says. "Oh, I think I'll just wait for the police to show up..."
Two cars got into a terrible wreck on a country road. One driver pulls out a bottle of scothch and says "Hey, since we're both unharmed, let's celebrate!" The other driver says "ok" and takes the bottle and downs half of it. He hands the bottle back to the other person, and they seal it back up. "Why aren't you drinking?" The first one says. "Oh, I think I'll just wait for the police to show up..."