got a good joke to share---post it here!
#291
12-30-2011, 04:34 PM
Julie, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman.
The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie,
"Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?" "Sure, that sounds great!" said Julie.
"Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man.
"Is fifty bucks all right?" Julie asked.
"Yeah, great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."
The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening. "Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.
"Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.
About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed.
"You painted the whole porch?" "Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie.
"Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie,
"Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?" "Sure, that sounds great!" said Julie.
"Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man.
"Is fifty bucks all right?" Julie asked.
"Yeah, great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."
The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening. "Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.
"Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.
About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed.
"You painted the whole porch?" "Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie.
"Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
#292
12-30-2011, 07:01 PM
Originally Posted by Verno
Julie, the blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money. She decided to go to the nicer, richer neighborhoods around town and look for odd jobs as a handy woman.
The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie,
"Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?" "Sure, that sounds great!" said Julie.
"Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man.
"Is fifty bucks all right?" Julie asked.
"Yeah, great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."
The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening. "Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.
"Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.
About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed.
"You painted the whole porch?" "Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie.
"Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
The first house she came to, a man answered the door and told Julie,
"Yeah, I have a job for you. How would you like to paint the porch?" "Sure, that sounds great!" said Julie.
"Well, how much do you want me to pay you?" asked the man.
"Is fifty bucks all right?" Julie asked.
"Yeah, great. You'll find the paint and ladders you'll need in the garage."
The man went back into his house to his wife who had been listening. "Fifty bucks! Does she know the porch goes all the way around the house?" asked the wife.
"Well, she must, she was standing right on it!" her husband replied.
About 45 minutes later, Julie knocked on the door. "I'm all finished," she told the surprised homeowner. The man was amazed.
"You painted the whole porch?" "Yeah," Julie replied, "I even had some paint left, so I put on two coats!" The man reached into his wallet to pay Julie.
"Oh, and by the way," said Julie, "That's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
Thats funny.
#294
01-06-2012, 10:44 PM
***caution***
Quite a bit late for New Years Eve errr New Years Day I mean but ooooh yeah! Who cannot relate to this? (those who drink anyway)
I just have to love Power97, a local radio station for this
Hangover Anthem 1 - YouTube
***CAUTION***
You may have this catchy tune running uncontrollably through your head for minutes, hours or days!
Especially "the morning after"!
Don't hate me for that. 
I just have to love Power97, a local radio station for this
Hangover Anthem 1 - YouTube
***CAUTION***
You may have this catchy tune running uncontrollably through your head for minutes, hours or days!Especially "the morning after"!
Don't hate me for that.
Last edited by Rottidog; 01-06-2012 at 10:54 PM. Reason: editing, after-thoughts & a title
#297
01-09-2012, 08:12 PM
The New, New Math
1. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?
2. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is $80. Did he make a profit ? Yes or No
4. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number
20.
5. Teaching Math In 2000s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of
$20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class
participation after answering the question: How did the birds and
squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong
answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok).
6. Teaching Math In 2010
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la
producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
ANSWER: His profit was $375,000 because his logging business is just a
front for his pot farm.
~author unknown
1. Teaching Math In 1960s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is 4/5 of the price. What is his profit ?
2. Teaching Math In 1970s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is 4/5 of the price, or $80. What is his profit?
3. Teaching Math In 1980s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is $80. Did he make a profit ? Yes or No
4. Teaching Math In 1990s
A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His cost of production
is $80 and his profit is $20. Your assignment: Underline the number
20.
5. Teaching Math In 2000s
A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and
inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the
preservation of our woodlands. He does this so he can make a profit of
$20. What do you think of this way of making a living? Topic for class
participation after answering the question: How did the birds and
squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes? (There are no wrong
answers, and if you feel like crying, it's ok).
6. Teaching Math In 2010
Un hachero vende una carretada de maderapara $100. El costo de la
producciones es $80. Cuanto dinero ha hecho?
ANSWER: His profit was $375,000 because his logging business is just a
front for his pot farm.
~author unknown
#300
01-18-2012, 04:53 AM
Originally Posted by Verno
I pointed to two old drunks sitting across the bar from us and told my friend
"That's us in 10 years".
He said "That's a mirror, dip-****!"
"That's us in 10 years".
He said "That's a mirror, dip-****!"
That's funny!!! 
Nice one!!! 
