'Twas the night before Christmas--Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves and threw down his list.
Miserable little brats, ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind to scrap the whole works!

I've busted my *** for damn near a year,
Instead of "Thanks Santa"--what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight.

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those ******** from the CRA sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain't damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little ****s
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of yo yo's--No request for them,
They want computers and robots...they think - I'm IBM!

Flying through the air....dodging the trees
Falling down chimneys and skinning my knees
I'm quitting this job there's just no enjoyment
I'll sit on my fat *** and draw unemployment.

There's no Christmas this year now you know the reason,
I found me a blonde. I'm going SOUTH for the season

 

Thats great lol

 

blondes ftw

 

that's priceless!

that truely is a modern take of a classic.

Merry Christmas indeed.

 

LOL. love it. Merry Christmas!

 

Merry Xmas everyone....times are hard but hopefully everyone has a good one

 

'nuff said.

 

lol. That's funny. Merry Christmas!

And for those who don't know...CRA = Canada Revenue Agency. They're our tax police...the people that take all your money

 

Interesting story lol Lotta language =S

Merry Christmas!! Don't sick from eating to much candy haha