Are you Worried about Zombies?
#1
01-08-2009, 08:32 AM
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Charlotte, NC (Lucia)
Posts: 427
Are you Worried about Zombies?
The here is the vehicle for you.
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/979766947.html
http://sfbay.craigslist.org/eby/cto/979766947.html
Do you worry about zombies? Me too…..
This rig would make Mad Max jealous, so fear no more the day of reckoning. This magnificent model of zombie killing steel and American Iron is ready for action. 350 cubic inches power this puppy through a 700r4 tranny and 4 wheel drive on the fly (assuming you’ve locked your Warn hubs already). So that means if you’ve been using your beefy patented zombie killing Warn bumper with grill guard to plow through an unruly mob of flesh eating miscreants, and somehow happen to lose traction on their bloody gooey bodies, you don’t have to get out, or even stop….just throw that puppy into 4 wheel and smear those undead under not 2, but 4 33” mud terrain tires! And if that’s not enough….you’ve got a Warn Winch to pull yourself out of whatever trouble you find yourself in.
Need to take evasive action to avoid that pesky overturned bus blocking the road? If you were in your hippy loving Prius, you’d never make it over that center median. Well, it’s a good thing you have a 4” Rancho lift with those beefy tires to get you over that median. Hell, you could probably drive over that Prius that’s stuck, high centered.
Doing some night-time driving/zombie killing? No problem. 2 forward and 2 rear facing floodlights assure you that all your night-time zombie needs are met. And, I haven’t looked, but I’m sure if you wanted you could retro-fit the bulbs to some UV bulbs, just in case they’re sensitive to the sun, like the ones in “I am Legend.”
There’s more too! When you’re fleeing for you life from a pack of brain eating monsters, there’s nothing more that you DON’T want to do than fiddle with your keys trying to open your door. That’s right…. Its hard to get that key in there while you’re shaking like a baby. No worries, this behemoth of slaughter comes equipped with keyless and entry, AND remote start. *Phew*
It also has an awesome rack, perfect for carrying all your provisions of food and ammo, while you journey to your secluded mountain hide-away. Nothing worse than no leg room for you and the 5 hot chicks you picked up who needed a ride, and food, and to re-start civilization…... Oh, don’t like killing zombies in the morning without your coffee? Me neither. That’s why I have a power inverter in the back, so you can fresh grind those beans and brew your coffee for that fresh Starbucks taste. Killing zombies is no fun without some awesome music to get you pumped you say? Why, I totally agree. It’s a good thing this chic saving zombie killing machine also has the luxury of a 6 disc changer, and sub-woofer.
Why am I getting rid of this potentially life saving, babe-nabbing vehicle? To tell the truth, I wish I didn’t have to, but, stuff came up and I can’t afford 2 registrations or the space to park 2 cars. So, my loss is your gain. I only ask that since I am giving this to ya for an incredible deal that you swing by and pick me up when the zombies come. Thanks.
1988 K5 Blazer $4,100 obo
This rig would make Mad Max jealous, so fear no more the day of reckoning. This magnificent model of zombie killing steel and American Iron is ready for action. 350 cubic inches power this puppy through a 700r4 tranny and 4 wheel drive on the fly (assuming you’ve locked your Warn hubs already). So that means if you’ve been using your beefy patented zombie killing Warn bumper with grill guard to plow through an unruly mob of flesh eating miscreants, and somehow happen to lose traction on their bloody gooey bodies, you don’t have to get out, or even stop….just throw that puppy into 4 wheel and smear those undead under not 2, but 4 33” mud terrain tires! And if that’s not enough….you’ve got a Warn Winch to pull yourself out of whatever trouble you find yourself in.
Need to take evasive action to avoid that pesky overturned bus blocking the road? If you were in your hippy loving Prius, you’d never make it over that center median. Well, it’s a good thing you have a 4” Rancho lift with those beefy tires to get you over that median. Hell, you could probably drive over that Prius that’s stuck, high centered.
Doing some night-time driving/zombie killing? No problem. 2 forward and 2 rear facing floodlights assure you that all your night-time zombie needs are met. And, I haven’t looked, but I’m sure if you wanted you could retro-fit the bulbs to some UV bulbs, just in case they’re sensitive to the sun, like the ones in “I am Legend.”
There’s more too! When you’re fleeing for you life from a pack of brain eating monsters, there’s nothing more that you DON’T want to do than fiddle with your keys trying to open your door. That’s right…. Its hard to get that key in there while you’re shaking like a baby. No worries, this behemoth of slaughter comes equipped with keyless and entry, AND remote start. *Phew*
It also has an awesome rack, perfect for carrying all your provisions of food and ammo, while you journey to your secluded mountain hide-away. Nothing worse than no leg room for you and the 5 hot chicks you picked up who needed a ride, and food, and to re-start civilization…... Oh, don’t like killing zombies in the morning without your coffee? Me neither. That’s why I have a power inverter in the back, so you can fresh grind those beans and brew your coffee for that fresh Starbucks taste. Killing zombies is no fun without some awesome music to get you pumped you say? Why, I totally agree. It’s a good thing this chic saving zombie killing machine also has the luxury of a 6 disc changer, and sub-woofer.
Why am I getting rid of this potentially life saving, babe-nabbing vehicle? To tell the truth, I wish I didn’t have to, but, stuff came up and I can’t afford 2 registrations or the space to park 2 cars. So, my loss is your gain. I only ask that since I am giving this to ya for an incredible deal that you swing by and pick me up when the zombies come. Thanks.
1988 K5 Blazer $4,100 obo
#6
01-08-2009, 08:19 PM
RE: Are you Worried about Zombies?
LOL! That was taken from a CL ad that was here.
#9
01-09-2009, 09:58 PM
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Charlotte, NC (Lucia)
Posts: 427
RE: Are you Worried about Zombies?
ORIGINAL: Red Horse
Wow, Nice looking rig and a great story too help sell her....you really should post your ad on some sci-fi sites, I'd bet it would sell in a week.
Good luck with the sale.
Wow, Nice looking rig and a great story too help sell her....you really should post your ad on some sci-fi sites, I'd bet it would sell in a week.
Good luck with the sale.
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